The Rewatchables: TLM
Here is my attempt to do a blog version of The Ringer’s “The Rewatchables” podcast on one of the best Office episodes of all time.
Most Rewatchable scene
Could this be anything other than Michael Scarn teaching people how to do “the Scarn”?
Michael Scott’s best moments involve music, and it becomes even more elevated when he has written the lyrics and choreographed his own dance.
This is a prime example.
Well, my name's Michael Scarn and I'm here to say
I'm about to do the Scarn in a major way
You jump to the right, and you shake a hand
And you jump to the left and you shake that hand
Meet new friends, tie some yarn
That's how you do the Scarn!
Best quote
“Jokes on you Goldenface, that man was a wanted animal rapist.”
“I'm going to dig up Scarn's dead wife and hump her real good.”
What aged the best
Michael’s girlfriends… TLM highlights Jan and Pam’s mom, both of whom are way out of his league. Good for Mike.
Darryl as president, fitting for the time.
Everyone’s exes are in the movie, such a beautiful disaster.
What aged the worst
I would say that the dialogue has aged the worst. A lot of things were said that probably wouldn’t be allowed anymore.
Goldenface deciding to make his villain character centered around blowing up professional all-star games, seems like the worst bad guy of all time.
The gun scenes. Good lord these are bad. I understand that they’re probably intentionally awful to show Michael’s inept ability to make a passable movie, but it’s pretty tough to watch. There are 3 separate scenes that people miss 10-12 shots at point-blank range.
Cherokee Jack. This is such a blatantly obvious ripoff of Patches O’houlihan. The coach teaches a player in need and then dies right before he is about to finish what they had worked on.
Dion waiters/heat check performance
Todd Packer.
No questions asked.
Packer is in one scene and has one line, but steals the show.
“If doing the Scarn is gay, then I’m the biggest queer on Earth.”
TPGTP… ToddPackerGonnaToddPacker
Overacting award
Dwight
Dwight tries waaaaaaaaaay too hard in his role as Scarn’s robot(?) butler. He turns a completely irrelevant character into one that has an annoying amount of lines.
He also ruined the scene of Goldenface shooting Scarn by jumping in the way, which we later find out was unscripted.
Casting what if’s
Toby as Goldenface. I would have loved to see the script for a movie Michael wrote where Toby was the bad guy.
The only other casting “what if” would have been to somehow throw David Wallace into the script.
Half-assed internet research
The episode is written by B.J. Novak
Tony Gardner is playing the piano in the Funky Cat scene
Michael alludes to Threat Level Midnight during the watermark episode in season 3
Unanswerable questions
Why did Scarn agree to help the president after he tried to kill him?
Why professional all-star games?
Why is the Oscar choke-out scene so extended?
Could this be remade as a 10-episode Netflix series
Absolutely not, it could barely be turned into a 10-minute movie within a TV show.
Apex Mountain
Pam’s mom, looking good at age 60
Who won the movie
Stanley. He gives us a pretty spot-on Morgan Freeman impression while also staying out of all the embarrassing acting/dialogue.
Picking Nits
Gun scenes are unrealistic
The car is obviously not moving in the driving through the rain scene
Everyone knows how to do The Scarn after hearing the lyrics one time? I don’t think so.
The painting that Scarn throws over the President should have A) been a much more violent blow and B) wouldn’t have stopped them from killing Scarn.
A hockey puck gets hit into outer space, ricochets off of a satellite that turns his friend’s TV back on, and then lands in Goldenface’s lap… I don’t think so.
That’s all I got.