Music, travels, observations

Thoughts from a La Jolla coffee shop

Half Marathon thoughts:

This year, I set a goal: turn a random jog into a half marathon. No breaks. No excuses. Just a man in the lab. Well, I accomplished my goal with about 51 weeks to go.

It was a perfect running day. The sun was shining, the air crisp. About 48 degrees. Minimal wind. A crowded Memorial Park to act as my arena. Ideal.

Shirt: off immediately, headphones: in, volume: maxed out. Go time.

So, I began my trot. Slow and steady, my recipe for success. I have a terrible habit of getting out of the gates (way) too quickly. But not on this day, I stayed disciplined. I finished up my usual six-mile, double-loop and felt pretty good. So I kept going. My mind was in a good spot… and I started thinking this could be the day.

I have this weird mentality when it comes to running. Breaking down the distance always overwhelms me. After the first 6 miles, thinking about the remaining 7.1 miles makes me want to quit.

So instead, I reframed it.

If I can just run one more lap (3 miles) then there is no way I’m going to quit. If I can get to 9 then there is really no way I quit. And if I get to 12 that’s basically 13.1. So in a way, I’m almost there.

That’s how my mind works.

If I look at the big picture I don’t get very far. But if I break it up into bite-sized pieces I can do some damage. And it worked.

Lap three was a bit of a grind but not awful. Lap four was a little worse, but again, not terrible. The final mile was brutal – straight into the teeth of the wind with exhaustion setting in. But I finished.

Here was the interesting takeaway: It felt remarkably ordinary.

No one was there to cheer me on. No ceremonial tape at the finish line. No competitors trying to pass me by. None of that. Just me vs. me.

And I love that.

I started running to better myself. I don’t do it to compete against others (that’s one of the reasons I’m not sharing my time). Running a half was a mental test, not a comparison. How tough can I be when the stakes are the lowest? I find that to be an important question for me. Anyone can do it when everyone is watching. Anyone can run that final wind sprint fast when you can see the finish line. What about when you can’t? Running, for me, is a great way to try and answer those questions.

How tough can you be when no one is watching?

That’s a question I’ve always been a bit scared to try and answer. I’ve always struggled with self-negotiation. No one is watching, does it really matter? And I’ve never been satisfied with the results that I’ve seen. There was a lack of toughness that was always tough for me to swallow. You don’t rise to the occasion, you sink to your preparation level. And my preparation level always left me wanting (a lot) more.

Over the last few months, I’ve embraced the struggle and stopped listening to that voice inside me that wants to negotiate. Fuck the momentary discomfort. Anyone can quit. Anyone.

Why can’t I be the last man standing?

We limit ourselves by blindly following conventional wisdom. Running six miles every day is a bad idea. You should take a break. That type of thinking isn’t right or wrong – but it is inherently conventional. And blind devotion to the consensus hinders growth. People can accomplish extraordinary things when they convince themselves there’s no reason to stop. When everyone else around them looked at them and said, “It can’t be done.” When everyone around them looks at you like you’re crazy. When everyone around you thinks you are dreaming too big. You might be onto something.

Maybe running six miles every day is a bad idea. But I’ll find that out on my own.

Anyone can run a half-marathon.

Cities I’ve recently visited in 5 words or less:

Jacksonville:

Dirty in a good way.

Palm Springs:

Unmotivating, tan, bland, artificial, meh.

San Diego:

Charming. Convincing.

Gracie Abrams:

Gracie Abrams is my favorite artist right now. That’s the tweet. Yes, this includes Taylor. No, I won’t be taking any questions at this point.

I don’t really know how or why it happened but Gracie has been blaring nonstop for me recently. Truly nonstop. And it got me thinking that she might have passed the final test for my pantheon.

A key measure of an artist/band, at least for me, is how many different settings I enjoy their music in. Musicians like Taylor Swift and Mt. Joy are at the top of the mountain. Pantheon. Anytime, anywhere, it doesn’t matter. I’ll turn them on and they’ll fit the vibe I’m searching for. They’re my staples. My bread n butter. My best friend, always there to give me a comforting sound.

But many artists don’t reach that spot. It’s hallowed ground, not meant for every artist.

Eminem is strictly for when I’m struggling on a run. John Vincent III when I’m trying to focus on writing. Dua Lipa when I want to hear a double-clap. Chappell Roan when I want to put a smile on my face. Rihanna when I want to feel like I’m him. The Lumineers when I want to feel like a sad boi. Dababy when I want to laugh at people who listen to it unironically. Noah Kahan when I want to listen to what mediocrity sounds like. Morgan Wallen when I want to feel like an SEC student majoring in bizness.

Okay, the last three were kinda mean, and Noah Kahan isn’t that bad.

All pretty niche settings. It needs to be just right. And for a while, Gracie fell in with those artists… good but slow. But probably best geared toward reading/writing.

But she’s moved into my pantheon.

She’s fantastic focusing music to have on in the background. She’s fantastic for a slower pace on a jog. Or a faster pace. She’s fantastic for a late-night car ride. She’s fantastic if you like introspective music. And she’s fantastic if you enjoy songs that somehow always result in her saying ‘sorry’. C’mon Gracie, stop apologizing.

I listened to a ton of her music before she opened for the Eras Tour but I quickly stopped after. She lost me. A lot of her stuff sounded the same and she was a little too sad-girl-victim for me. But after a couple months I circled back. Let’s see what Gracie is up to these days. So I sprinkled a few of her songs into my rotation. It turned into a snowball effect. It went from an exploratory phase to a full on deep dive.

Her lyrics are edgy. Her storytelling is easy to follow. And a lot of her songs have one or two lines that leave me thinking hmmmmm. And I love that. That’s what music is all about.

I know she’s not for everyone but I don't care. She’s for me.

Also, she’s adorable. Respectfully, wifey material.

What’s your favorite song of all time?

I was scrolling on Instagram last night and came across a video asking people a question: what is your favorite song of all time? And it got me thinking… What is my favorite song of all time? I think it’s a fascinating question.

And here was my biggest takeaway: this incredibly important award had no candidates from my favorite artists.

Favorite songs are typically a one-off. Musical excellence, nearly impossible to replicate again. A distinct sound that sends a chill down your neck every time it comes on. Hundreds of memories rush to mind. A song with deep, personal meaning. You know the words like the back of your hand. It’s family. It’s comfort. It’s reliable. It’s been there for you during the good, but more importantly, the bad. It’s numbing. Always hitting differently. Versatile.

So I started thinking… there aren’t that many songs that fall under that strict criteria.

I narrowed it down to 5 candidates:

Unwritten by Natasha Benningfield

• This song oozes nostalgia. A song that pairs childhood with a lesson of life: dream big and live boundless. Live life. Go outside. Experience. Nothing matters other than living.

Strangers by Wingtip

• A song with pace. I don’t think I’ve ever skipped past this song, an important stat for consideration of this prestigious award. Sad boi vibes. Let’s go back and pretend we’re strangers.

Same Love by Macklemore (feat. Mary Lambert)

• My recommendation to you: go listen to this song. Many think this is Macklemore’s attempt to express his thoughts on homosexuality but I think it’s a lot more than that. I gravitated toward this song because I’ve always liked the sound of it… Mary Lambert’s feature with the piano intro was always intriguing to me. But I never really listened to it closely until I added it to my running playlist. The lyrics about religion and church are convincing. I’ll leave it at that because there are about 7 quotes that leave me thinking “hmmm”.

Stubborn Love by The Lumineers

• Good beat. Powerful words. Probably my favorite Tiny Desk song of all time. Shoutout to NPR for the greatest concert concept of all time.

The winner:

Home by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

• I love this song. Always have, always will. It never fails to put a smile on my face. Truly unskippable. The whistle. The abundance of instruments. The playful back-and-forth, magnetic nature of the duet. It tells a story – a whole, winding story. It's meaningful. It takes you on a journey. It’s folky. It’s choppy. Instrumental. Unconventional. Conversational. Quirky. All tossed together into a jumbled mess that somehow works beautifully. And I love it.

Honorable mentions:

• Dreams, Fleetwood Mac

• Kids, MGMT

• Billie Jean, Michael Jackson

• Vogue, Madonna

• Clara Bow, Taylor Swift

• Strangers, Mt. Joy

Half-baked ideas:

• The best restaurants have weird hours and off days

  • I noticed this for the first time in Philadelphia. But it seemed like every good Philly restaurant had peculiar hours or was closed for at least a day. I thought about it a little bit more and it kind of makes sense. Think about Chick-fil-A, the best fast food option out there, closed on Sundays. My favorite restaurant in Houston, Cabo Bobs, closed on Sundays. The best cheesesteak place in Philadelphia (John’s Roast Pork), closed on Sunday and Monday. The best pizza in Philly (Angelo’s), closed Monday and Tuesday.

  • Every square is a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a square. Same thing with restaurants. Not every good restaurant will have days where they’re closed. But every restaurant that has days off will typically be good. Just something to think about.

• Fashion is 100% about wearing something out of the ordinary

  • I used to be a big dress code guy. Golf shirts were meant to be tucked in. Pants were not supposed to fit tightly. Quarter zips were worn on a nice fall day. Joggers were not only worn to keep you warm but also to show that you have fashionable taste. Then I looked around and realized I was dressing like everyone else. And who wants to be like everyone else? Isn’t the whole purpose of life to go down rabbit holes? Duh. I’ve changed my dressing tendencies quite a bit over the last few years, all because of one question: will I see anyone wearing anything similar to me? If the answer is ‘no’ then I’ve done my job. Just something to think about.

• Alcohol is meant for special occasions only

  • I won’t waste your time with a long explanation here… Alcohol isn’t for me. Of course there are times for celebration — but for the most part, it makes me feel terrible the next day. Why do I want that? End of paragraph.

• Splitting a bill is an unacceptable answer unless there are more than 3 people

  • This is a new theory of mine and I like it. As long as the bill is not astronomically high, a small congregation of friends should have one person step up and cover it. This is a move I’ve acquired from my older brother, shoutout Kram. It’s an extremely nice gesture, but more importantly, it’s the right thing to do. As long as you aren’t penny-pinching, an extra $50-$100 won’t break the bank. I’ve started putting this into play whenever I meet some of my younger UH teammates for dinner. The older guy should handle it and pass that tradition down.

• Everyone should give fasting a try

  • A lot of people find my dietary tendencies to be interesting. Here is my challenge to you: try it yourself before calling me insane. And don’t give it the college try, give it a real chance. I eat one meal a day, dinner, and that’s it. Now, I will say, that dinner is supercharged, we don’t hold back. But I will only eat for about an hour. When I first started fasting I did it to lose a little weight, but when I did it consistently I found that it made me feel much better throughout the day. I wouldn’t recommend starting with the (rather intense) measures I’ve graduated to, but try intermittent fasting for a week and see how you feel. You might hate it, but you might love it.

• TV show bingeing is an old-person thing

  • Stop telling me to watch Landman. Touch grass. Go read or write. Or run. Go for a walk. Smell the roses. Touch grass. Go to the mall. Idk, anything but binge a TV show.