Connection

My journey as a fan

The answer to the question I probably get asked most is pretty simple.

“Why do you like Taylor Swift so much?”

The easy answer is she wrote a song with my name in it. And for a 6-year-old kid hearing his name in a popular song, it only meant one thing: the singer had to have a crush on me. The “Drew song” I called it. That’s where everything started — in the backseat of my parents’ gray Chevrolet Suburban blaring the Drew song.

But that’s not why I’m still a fan.

There are plenty of things I can look back on and say “That is why I am a fan of Taylor Swift.” But the more I think about it, the more I realize it’s not an individual event or song that pushed me over the edge.

It’s a connection.

For a lot of celebrities, finding a connection with their fans can be difficult. They’re distant, living unfathomable lives that we can’t comprehend. We catch glimpses of their lifestyle… escorted around big cities in the most lavish ways, feeling as human as Zeus. It’s hard to find any level of relatability with a lot of them. It would be naive of me to say that I have a relationship with Taylor Swift. Because, just like the rest of her hundreds of millions of fans, I don’t.

But Taylor has something that no other megastar has — a true connection with people who’ve never met her.

My introduction to Taylor was coincidental. I didn’t particularly like her music or even know who she was. I just liked her because she sang “Teardrops on My Guitar”. But for some reason, I kept listening.

When she released Fearless I listened to the songs on the radio.

I liked You Belong With Me because of the music video. I liked Love Story because it was popular. I didn’t even know what Our Song was until about 2010. But she kept showing up. I vaguely remember hearing about an incident with Kanye West, but I didn’t really know what happened.

I didn’t know much about Speak Now releasing, but when it did I listened to the mainstream songs. I loved Mean (a song I now despise, cringe) but that was it. Everything else went over my head. I didn’t know about John Mayer. I couldn’t comprehend the lyrics. And I kind of lost track of her. 

So there I was, a casual fan of a popular singer. No intention of anything more.

And then she released Red.

She had begun to transform as an artist. Everyone credits 1989 for her genre reconfiguration, but it began with Red. Instead of singing with a southern twang, she acquired the voice of a pop star. But more importantly, she continued to let us in. She allowed us to look under the hood. We knew the characters involved, but now she was giving us the details and stories. And it also probably helped that I was a few years older to understand what some of her songs meant, a scarf isn’t a scarf.

Of course, I enjoyed “22” and “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” but I fell in love with the other tracks…

“State of Grace” would become my favorite Taylor Swift song. “All Too Well” is one of the greatest songs ever written. This was the first time that I had listened to an album from start to finish. “Holy Ground” and “Stay Stay Stay” were hidden gems. “Treacherous”, “Sad Beautiful Tragic”, and “The Last Time” were heartbreaking songs that familiarized me with her (unrivaled) ability to write songs.

So I began to look closer. I remember starting to own it more, yeah I like Taylor Swift, she’s awesome. SO WHAT? It became culturally acceptable for guys to like Taylor.

She went from a cute, country artist to a polarizing figure in all of pop culture. She became global.

And then she released 1989. 

I vividly remember Krista Lauritzen and Marianna Davis picking me up from school one day and talking about a new Taylor Swift song. I didn’t have an iPhone yet, I didn’t have Twitter, and streaming wasn’t common at the time. I had no way of listening. So they flipped the channels and eventually, it came on.

When I heard “Shake It Off” for the first time, I was hooked. A song denouncing all of the haters was a concept that I loved. If Red was a soft opening into the pop industry, 1989 was a full-scale launch leaving country completely in the dust.

1989 was not only her most popular album but also her best. Three of the songs reached #1 on the Billboard charts. It won album of the year. But the awards couldn’t do the impact justice. She became transcendent. 1989 was a cultural phenomenon. This was her Mona Lisa.

She morphed into something different after 1989. She wasn’t just famous, she was significant. She wasn’t just a part of pop culture, she shaped pop culture. She had reached rarefied air.

And then she vanished. How could the world's most famous person manage to evade the public eye? I'm still not entirely sure, but she did. This was on the heels of the (doctored) Kanye situation and the ceaseless rumors surrounding her dating life. It was the first time in a while that the world seemed to turn against her. 

So she left. However, she didn't just disappear into obscurity. Instead, she utilized her time away to do what she always does: write music. All of her pent-up frustration would later turn into one of her greatest creations, Reputation.

After 3 long years without new music, she delivered. And after an entire year without being seen, she finally began to resurface.

This is where my connection with Taylor began. Her first 5 albums signified musical excellence, songs and sounds that I enjoyed immensely. Relatable anecdotes about a relationship or situationship that many had dealt with in their lives. But Reputation struck a different chord. Songs about identity, resurrection, and revenge — which resonated with me. 

Reputation was released at the end of 2017, mirroring my reputational crisis. This album was put out there just days before I quit football. 

My decision was polarizing. It was divisive. I lost a lot of relationships over it. All over the decision to quit a stupid game. I’m glad I did it, but it wasn’t easy.

So I turned to music and more specifically this album. When no one else could grasp what I was going through, Reputation could, but more specifically, Taylor Swift could. At the time, I wasn’t willing to admit it, but I was pretty depressed. Reputation got me through it.

She perfectly captured how I felt.

Reputation was by far her most criticized album. It was dark. It didn’t sound like the Taylor that we knew. But to her fans, it’s her most important album. It symbolized who she was as a person — unafraid to stand up for herself and what she perceived as right, even if others disagreed. And we loved it. Reputation was a metaphor, and her fans realized that. If you go to one of her concerts, the songs from Reputation are always sung the loudest… it’s most fans’ favorite album.

I got tickets to the Reputation Tour for Christmas.

I remember being so excited to see her, but also slightly embarrassed. Was this fandom a tad bit ironic or was I really this invested in Taylor? My question would be answered as soon as she stepped onto the stage. 

The stadium erupted. And before I go on, you readers have probably heard a stadium “erupt” before, but let me tell you… there is nothing like a Taylor Swift-just-stepped-on-stage eruption. It’s drowning. A volume that I can only compare to a jet taking off — so loud that you need to cover your ears. But I remember getting teary-eyed. It wasn’t that I idolized her to the point that her mere presence made me emotional, it was how much her music meant to me. Her music had gotten me through a really tough time.

So she sang a song or two, both of which I sang as loud as possible.

But after those first couple of songs, she did something I’ve never seen a performer do, and it grabbed me. As she finished the second song the crowd screaming came to a halt she giggled to herself. The crowd could see she wanted to say something and said three words, “Hi, I’m Taylor.”

The queen of connection.

It was such a funny little detail that she adds into every show. Most performers assume that you know who they are and can you blame them? You’re paying to see them. But that’s the thing that I love about her, she assumes nothing. She’s the biggest star in the world, it would be so easy to be presumptuous, but she’s not.

Her performance amazed me that night. My expectations were high, and she didn’t come close to disappointing. Taylor occupies a unique category of performer; she is not just a singer, but a true entertainer. She tells us stories and hints at what song is coming up next. She travels around the stadium to allow everyone a close look at the most famous woman in the world. She plays songs for her newest fans while also showing signs of respect to her oldest and most loyal. Of course, she sings and dances, but I think the most unique part of her performance is the purpose. I don’t think many of her fans go to hear her sing or watch her dance, I know I don’t. They go to show their appreciation. They go to show how impactful her words have been. They go to be a part of something bigger. A Taylor Swift concert is less about the musical performance and more about celebrating the art she’s created for the masses. It’s so distinct.

It was one of the most memorable nights of my life.

Following the release of Reputation, she has released 4 new albums (with a 5th on the way). She’s rereleased most of her older albums. She’s won album of the year two more times, a record. She has released a handful of movies. She’s hosted the most insanely covered tour in my lifetime, The Eras Tour. And she has become one of the most famous people in the world.

But the most amazing thing: she’s strengthened her connection with the fans.

Last year, I was lucky enough to go to the Eras Tour twice. Both times it was the most impressive live event I’ve ever been a part of. It was a spectacle. The energy was unparalleled, the crowd size made a Super Bowl look measly. There were 20,000 people outside of the stadium all night, just so they could hear her perform.

Bracelets were exchanged, costumes ranged all eras, merchandise lines wrapped around half of an NFL stadium, and a level of anticipation that I’d never seen before — everyone in their seats a good hour before she walked on stage.

And after she walks on stage: she gives you the greatest performance you’ve ever seen. She spans 10 eras, 44 songs, and 3.5 hours. The ticket prices are insane, truly insane. But she makes it worth every penny. 

She walks the crowd through her philosophy behind certain songs. She plays the hits. But most of all, she connects. She brings everyone in. By the end of the night, the reluctant dad is singing louder than his swiftie-daughter. She takes us on a magical journey through not only her life but ours as well.

Taylor is releasing a new album next Friday, the Tortured Poets Department, one of her most anticipated albums of all time. This will be her first since breaking up with Joe Alwyn and looks to follow up her 4th Album of the Year award.

The music world awaits and so do her fans.

My fandom, like I said at the beginning, was completely coincidental. If Taylor had written The Drew Song about a guy named Dave, I wouldn’t be here. My life would probably look different. That might be a weird set of dots to connect, but I believe it.

Teardrops on my Guitar got me into music. You Belong With Me made Taylor Swift cool. 22 taught me to be myself. Shake It Off made me stop focusing on what others thought of me. I Did Something Bad focused me. Death By A Thousand Cuts sympathized with a broken heart. The 1 got me back on my feet. Evermore left me hanging. Karma taught me that it can be a cat, a god, or a guy on the Chiefs.

It might sound hyperbolic to place such importance on a person I’ve never met but I believe music to be that powerful. It’s an instrument of communication. A conductor of feelings. It’s relatable. It’s powerful. It shapes us. It cures us. It’s therapeutic and medicinal. There is nothing quite like it.

At times, my fandom probably seems silly or over the top. But behind the facade, there are 17 years of connection that I’ve built with Taylor. Songs that have spoken to me, albums that have shaped me, and words that have changed me. 

All because she had her heart broken in high school by some guy named Drew.